When you close your eyes and envision your future you probably see something that’s not quite clear. You know you want to build something meaningful, whether it is a business, a career goal, or a lifestyle for you and your family.
Deep down you know there is something more you want out of life. But you’re having trouble focusing in and defining that picture in your mind. Why? Because there are things holding you back.
So how do you push past confidence crushing insecurities and legitimate fears that keep you from taking the next steps?
1. Define why you are doing what you are doing
Whether you have a business, you are just starting out, or you have no idea what you’re building; ask yourself these three questions:
Is what you are building going to help others?
Is what you are building going fill you with joy?
Would you like to provide more stability and opportunity for you and your family?
If you answered “yes” – you are building something worthy of your time and energy. And you need to keep working past your fears and insecurities. I’ll show you how.
2. Admit you have fears and insecurities
The next step is for you to be honest with yourself. Admitting to yourself that you have insecurities and fears (getting real) is the hardest part.
You might be wondering what the difference is between fears and insecurities.
Insecurities are things that we think about ourselves. It’s what we feel we are lacking. The things that we believe about ourselves that limit our ability to move forward.
Fears are things that could hurt us, but they are not our current state, and the outcome is unknown. They haunt us, but they are not real.
Now I want you to write down your top three insecurities, the beliefs that are limiting you.
These are typical insecurities many of us have:
“I don’t know how to speak professionally.”
“I feel like a fraud; I don’t have enough knowledge or expertise.”
“I am not stylish enough.”
“I have nothing meaningful to say.”
“Others are better than me at (blank).”
Don’t shy away. Get these down on paper. Look at your insecurities. Make them real and stop hiding from them. You can’t afford to ignore your insecurities.
Then write down your top fears. The things we are afraid will become our reality if we go all in on our dreams.
Here are some common fears I hear from women entrepreneurs.
“I won’t have enough money to pay my bills and take care of my family, and save for the future.”
“I won’t be able to leave the security of a full-time job with a 401k.”
“I won’t have time to spend with my friends and family.”
“I won’t be accepted by others.”
“I won’t be able to build a following.”
“I don’t know how to market myself.”
“I won’t be able to build a product worth selling.”
Get real about your fears. They are crippling you.
Now take your top three of each, fears and insecurities, and focus on them for this exercise. You now have a list of six of the main things that are holding you back.
Congratulations. You’ve defined your biggest problem.
You have done more in this exercise thus far than most people will ever do in their lives. Do you realize how big of a deal this is right now? You know what is holding you back. And knowing is half the battle.
Now let’s analyze each of your fears and insecurities.
3. Find out if your insecurities are based in reality
As an example, I’ll share what insecurities were holding me back.
Here are my top three:
- My weight
- Not sounding professional
- Not knowing my expertise
Then I asked myself, “Are these insecurities based in reality?
I want you to ask yourself: Your Name, are you Your Insecurity?
For example, I asked myself:
- Diana, are you overweight?
- Diana, do you sound professional when you speak?
- Diana, do you have expertise to give?
And then, for this to work, you need to be brutally honest with yourself.
My answers were:
- I have weight to lose.
- I need to sound more professional. I don’t come across as unprofessional now, but I need to practice and grow.
- I know I have expertise, but I need to get clear on how my knowledge will help others.
Then ask yourself:
Your Name, for what you are trying to achieve will Your Insecurity affect your success? If yes, how much?
You may want to be more detailed, but here is a snapshot of my answers you can use as an example:
- Weight does not take away from my expertise. But it can take away from my energy level, my ability to feel confident, and the way others look at me. It should not hold me back from moving forward, but I should not ignore it.
- Sounding professional is essential in this business. So I need to practice. It could hold me back from being successful if I don’t improve.
- If I don’t get clear on my message and define my customer profile, I won’t be able to speak clearly and confidently.
4. Map out a plan to overcome your worst fears
Fears can sometimes be worse than insecurities. Why? Because we live in reality every single day and we get used to our insecurities. But fears are unknown. Fears take place in make-believe land, and they act like the boogie-monster under our bed.
So to conquer your fears, you need to make them a reality, even for just a moment.
Take your top three fears, and pretend that they come to fruition. And then map out how you’d solve that problem if you needed to do so.
For me, my top three fears were:
- I won’t have enough money to afford our lifestyle.
- I won’t have adequate time to do what I need to do and enjoy life.
- People will think I’m a fraud.
Let’s tackle my first fear, money because it is a very real and common concern. So I want you to try something out for a spin that helped me change my money mindset. Let’s do some simple math.
Take a round number, $100,000, $500,000 or one million dollars. Now calculate how many products do you need to sell at what price to reach that amount of money?
At $2,000, how many products do you need to sell to make one million dollars?
At $200, at $500, at $1,000, at $5000.
Now divide that by twelve, because there are twelve months in the year.
For example. If I have a product valued at $2,000 and I sell 20 of them per month, I’ll make $500,000.
If I have a product valued at $1,000 and I sell 10 per month, I’ll make $120,000.
When you do simple math like this, you can quickly see how you could make money fast. And it becomes more realistic.
Imagine you have 4 clients, each pays you $3,500 per month, how much would you make per year? That’s $168,000.
Now you might be just starting out. So I want you to ask yourself, “If I decided right now you needed to make an additional $5,000, what are three ways I could do it?” i.e. How can I provide $5,000 worth of value to someone in the next 90 days?
You can use this kind of exercise to overcome your fears. Not only are solving your problem before it even happens, but you are also able to use the solutions to help you move forward immediately.
So now, take your top fear, and say to yourself, Your Name, if Your Fear comes true how would I fix it?
You’ll quickly realize that the solution isn’t quite as difficult as you’ve made it out to be.
5. Imagine your life if everything went right
You’ve got to have something meaningful to work towards. It will fuel your motivation even when times are tough.
When you close your eyes and see your future, you need to see something oh so juicy good that you can’t wait to get there.
So imagine if it all went right.
How would you feel?
What would you be able to provide for you and your family?
What opportunities would you have?
Don’t hold back. It’s your time to define your dreams.
Envision your life unlimited by your insecurities and your fears.
6. Make a plan to conquer your limiting beliefs and take action
You can now see a clear vision of what you are working towards. A future that is bright and beautiful, that will provide for your family, give you meaning, and a legacy of a life well lived.
Now you need to take action.
What is my plan for the next 30, 60, 90 days to take steps to fix the things I can change?
What will I do in the next 30, 60, 90 days to accept or improve the things I cannot change?
If you are ready to take action, join us in the free EMPOWER Women’s Challenge Group.
It’s a group of women pushing each other to take action on building their successful future.
Monthly challenges will help you gain clarity and move forward in your business.
Don’t wait and then look back at today wishing you did. Learn more by visiting dianaasbury.com/empowerchallenge.
You can do this!
We are women building our future. #hearusroar